In a pathetic attempt to appear more grateful for their employees than they actually are, the company supplied everyone with a free lunch today. When I don't know the owner of the company or even most of the managers or supervisors and I get a "thank you" delivered in the form of free food, I feel like I am being tricked into feeling appreciated, especially when I know that I am nothing more than a nameless worker tossed to and fro in a sea of nameless workers. I don't mean to be all pessimistic and sassy, but it just seems like they're trying to distract us from the misery that is factory work by throwing some food at us. Maybe it's just me. Or maybe I'm just too smart for this game.
Anyway, the morals of that story are 1) I don't trust bosses when they give us free food because it feels like they're trying to trick us into forgetting how much we hate our jobs, and 2) I ate way too much of the free food.
I ate so much free food, in fact, that I didn't have much room left for ice-cream! Darn that pulled-pork! Send that beef brisket to Hell! And shoot the delicious array of barbecue sauces in the kneecaps! I may not trust free food, but I sure as Hell will eat as much of it as I can (can you tell I was recently and will soon again be a college student?). I only have four days of access to free ice-cream remaining and I was wasting my appetite on "thank-you for all you do" food? I can have mediocre meat sandwiches anytime I want, but my frugal nature rarely allows me to loosen the purse strings enough to buy quality ice-cream! What was I thinking?! Well, isn't it obvious? I, clearly, wasn't thinking at all!
Now that it's coming down to my last few days at the ice-cream factory, nostalgia has started to kick in. I have such wonderful memories . . . of eating ice-cream right from the cartons . . . of roaming the factory to find what delicious treats I would be consuming that day . . . of co-workers gawking at my voracious ice-cream appetite . . . of mounds of wrappers laying empty and dead on the table before me in the wake of my gluttony . . .
The memories of the glory of free ice-cream will have to suffice. But, I assure you, I will be strong. I will not cry. Or, at least, I will never admit that I will number the tears and long for the olden times.
Daily Ice-Cream Intake
1 Vanilla and Brownie Waffle Cone, 1 Banana Split Waffle Cone, 1 Vanilla and Caramel Waffle Cone, 1 Rainbow Push-Up
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