When Pigeons Attack

I have spent some time around the Boston Common (a large park in the heart of downtown Boston) lately, and boy are there a lot of pigeons. I suppose every large city has a problem with them, but I've never lived in a big city before, so these everyday encounters with these winged rats are new to me.

Tonight, I would like to share two stories involving pigeons.

Pigeon Story #1 :

I was walking along, minding my own business when I heard a scream. I turned and saw a woman on her cellphone sitting in the Boston Common as a large number of pigeons darted past her on either side, most of them flying very closely. They weren't actually attacking her, but with the way she screamed, you might have thought they were. She covered her head and ducked down low and turned to look as the frenzied birds flew overhead. I saw a dropping fall. Sadly, it didn't hit the girl.

Pigeon Story #2 :

The other day, I bought myself some baked goods--a cherry cupcake with a lot of frosting and a blueberry muffin, to be exact. The weather was pleasant, and I decided to leave the confines of the library and enjoy my unhealthy snack in the Boston Common. I sat on a low retaining wall, not too far from a woman who was enjoying McDonald's french fries and also not very far from about seventy-five pigeons hopping around in the grass behind me.

The french fry-eating woman made the mistake of throwing a french fry into the grass for the pigeons to enjoy. They attacked, piling over each other and tearing at it with their beaks until it had completely disappeared. Then they noticed the remainder of the woman's fries poured out onto a napkin in her lap. A few of the pigeons stupidly hopped over and tried to get at her fries. The woman was not pleased. She started screaming at the pigeons "LEAVE ME ALONE! GO! LEAVE ME ALONE!"

Most of them obeyed and abandoned their fry hijacking, but a few of them retreated only to double back to make a second attempt. The woman began screaming as loud as she could, this time I think it was in another language--either French or Wino--and thrashed her arms about to defend her precious fried potato sticks, making a complete spectacle of herself.

I felt horrible. Not for her, but because I didn't have my camera on me.