Filling The Foamer is fairly simple. It's a big canister with wheels, about twice as fat and slightly taller than a beer keg, and all you have to do is first put in the cleanser and then the water through a hole in the top of it. Since we fill it all the way to the top, this takes quite some time. You just have to stand there and wait and wait and wait until water starts overflowing out of the hole. But long before it gets to that point, The Foamer starts crapping bubbles.
It doesn't really crap bubbles, I suppose, but that's how I like to think of it. As you could imagine, filling The Foamer creates a lot of bubbles on the surface of the water we are putting into it. And as the water level rises inside of The Foamer, the bubbles also rise until they start pushing their way out in this long spiral tube that looks unmistakably like a massive bubble turd. At first, it pushes and goes straight up, but then gravity gets the best of the towering bubble turd and it tilts over. At that point, the bubble turd starts to loop out in long, lazy spirals that ooze down the side of The Foamer, much like how a long actual human turd will wrap around itself inside of the toilet (or on the floor . . . or car hood . . . or your enemy's pizza. Whatever. I'm not judging, and I'm also not apologizing for forcing such crude images into your mind if they hadn't been in there already).
Today, I filled The Foamer twice and was able to be mesmerized by it's massive bubble turd on two separate occassions. All I could think was "Dang. That's really long. Can you imagine how painful that would be if a human turd was that long? And thick? And what would it mean if someone crapped bubbles like that? That they have a clean colon?" No. It would probably mean that they would be dying very soon, but what a way to go.
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Daily Ice-Cream Intake : 1/4th gallon of cookies and cream ice-cream, 1 root beer float pop, 2 orange sherbert push-ups, 3 ice-cream candy bars
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