Today was my first day inside of the ice-cream factory. Since not much is expected of brand new employees, it was a pretty slack day. I was given the tour (but don't ask me where anything is because all I remember is a big tangle of pipes and machines), given additional training, supplied with safety equipment, shown the schedule, given a locker, and shown how to do a handful of simple tasks. I don't feel like I learned a whole lot, but what I can tell you from today is that my job is going to be a wet and sweaty one.
Being a part of the sanitation department, my job is to dissemble and clean the various machines (or "lines", as we call them) so that they meet and exceed standards of cleanliness set by OSHA and the company. In order to do this, I will have to use a number of chemicals and hoses which spray scalding water. But in order to do that, I have to wear the right equipment to protect myself from the chemicals and heat. I was given plastic overalls, a hair and beard net, a hard hat, steel-toe boots, and heavy plastic gloves which reach almost to my elbows. Oh, but I mustn't forget to mention the safety glasses or lime green ear plugs I will also be wearing. It's quite the get up, and is very effective in keeping me from coming in contact with the liquids and foams which could harm me, but where it exceeds it providing a sufficient protection, it fails in being breathable. Sanitation workers are constantly scrubbing and moving about while working in clouds of steam. You can imagine how comfortable doing this will be while being suited in so much plastic.
But I didn't think the discomfort was all that terrible (at least from what I experienced today. My first exposure was probably very mild since I wasn't on the floor for a very long time). I'm not even deterred by the repetitious nature of the job, of cleaning the same thing in the same way each and every day. I've always taken a liking to cleaning things. I also find a certain degree of repetition in my work to be comforting. It won't be the most exciting job, but that's not why I applied and stuck out the grueling two-day orientation (see Choking Velociraptors, Beard Nets, and Phantom Limb -- Oh, My!). The reason I am doing any of this is for the free ice-cream.
I kind of feel like a horrible person. There were many reasons for me to get this job. 1) The wages were much higher than at my previous job. 2) I would be able to live with my brother for free and save several hundred dollars in rent. 3) It would be a much needed change of pace from the pawn shop. 4) I would be able to live closer to some of my family and spend time with them. As you can see, any of these would have been a good enough reason to move and get this job--let alone all of them! But it was the free ice-cream that got me! Should I have placed proximity to family higher on my priority list than free ice-cream? Of course, I should have! But I refuse to lie. I did it for the ice-cream and the ice-cream alone. I know it and I know that God knows it and I cannot deny it. I'm a sick, sick man, but I regret nothing!
That said, I proudly report that today, on my first day on the job, I ate 11 ice-cream treats and about 1/8th of a gallon of rocky road ice-cream. It was so amazing! I just couldn't stop eating! One manager kept laughing at me and I'm sure all of the people in the break room saw my compulsive eating and knew that I was new. But I don't care! The older employees can bring their Tupperware containers filled with homemade left overs! They can microwave their Ramen noodles! They can bring in their take-out! As for me, I will eat ice-cream! Let them scowl, let them sneer, even let them shun me and spread rumors! Why would I care? I have all the free ice-cream I can stand! That said, don't forget to keep checking my running tally of the free ice-cream I've eaten (see The Summer of Free Ice-Cream (A Running Tally)).
Moving beyond the ice-cream, I will relate one work-related story. Today, after we had cleaned a certain machine, I was given a hose and told to sanitize the floor by covering it with this certain foam sanitizer. While doing so, I came to an area where a man who was not part of the sanitation crew was working on something else. As he was not wearing the same water-proof overalls as mine, I wanted to turn off the hose and ask him if he wanted to move so I could spray that portion of the floor where he currently was and not get the sanitizer splashing up on his pants. But while trying to turn off the hose, my inexperience caused me to fumble, which caused the hose to tilt in my hands, and which ultimately caused me to spray the man's face with foam! It wasn't overly comic. I didn't give him a foam beard or anything, but he did receive a good splattering on one entire side of his face. He didn't seem too upset about it, but everyone else was laughing like it was the funniest thing they'd seen in years. All I could do was apologize and then avoid the poor man.
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