Scandalous, Bodily Fluid Exchanging Origins

One of our frequent customers came into the pawn shop with a friend today. This friend ended up purchasing a digital camera, a camera which I was blessed to ring up for him. No, it was a not a blessing because I received any sort of commission for the sale, but because of the conversation we had while the transaction occurred.

At first, the friend actually wanted to see two different cameras. They were both Kodak Easy Shares, but one had 4.0 mega pixels and the other had 8.2 mega pixels. This friend had no idea which one was supposed to be better--and, no, his ignorance was not feigned--and he asked the frequent customer which was better. The frequent customer responded that the one with more mega pixels was supposed to be superior and then added that the nicer one looked a lot like the digital camera he owned. The friend asked how much he paid for it, to which the frequent customer replied, "Nothing. I stole it."

I was shocked that he would admit that so openly and without the slightest hint of shame or remorse. But, then again, I shouldn't have been so surprised--all things considered . . . Anyway, hoping that there was a good story I could get out of this (see The Things Customers Are Willing To Tell Me), I discreetly probed for more details. And, boy, was I rewarded.

As it turns out, this frequent customer obtained the camera from a woman after having sex with her. "You stole from a woman you shagged?" I asked, to which he tried to explain why "shag" was not the right term for the encounter they had had. He then changed his story to saying that this woman gave him the camera, that he did not steal it, but that she gave it to him out of gratitude for his dirty services. "She gave it to me and then she gave it to me? Get it?"

Unfortunately, there wasn't much to get and I got it with much more clarity than I would have ever wanted.

After the friend had purchased the camera, I told my fellow employees about the frequent customer stealing the camera from a woman he had slept with. Upon hearing this, one of my co-workers asked if I was referring to the camera he had just sold us. 

It was in that moment that I understood why this frequent customer tried to cover up his foolish slip of the tongue. He was planning on selling the stolen camera and did not want us to know the details of its scandalous, bodily fluid exchanging origins. What a fool.