You may not be able to tell by just looking at me, but I go to the gym three times a week to lift weights. I am, in fact, so eco-friendly and health conscious that I even bike there and back (this is in no way explained by the fact that I do not currently own a car).
On my way to and from the gym, I cut through the parking lot of a Dunkin Donuts. I know you're not suppose to do that, but it saves me a whole three seconds . . . some of the time. There are times when I get held up in that oh, so busy parking lot. I often find myself having to slow down or even stop because cars are backing out of spots or are pulling into the lot and almost hitting me or because people are oblivious to the fact that they have just stepped out and began walking in front of me. It's like they're zombies and all they can think about is their precious coffee and donuts. It frustrates me.
Rather than being outwardly nice by not doing anything about this, I should . . . swoop around the annoying people who are walking to their cars, grab the coffee of one, throw it into the open door of someone else's vehicle, and then nab the donut of another person (preferably just as they are about to take their first bite), crush it in my hands, let the pieces fall to the filthy concrete, and just keep biking.
I would love to do this every morning.
Or, since you just hit the gym, you can be like, "You're gonna get diabetes! Let me save you. I just hit the gym so I'll be fine".
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