Just a few moments ago, I was walking down the sidewalk in downtown Boston. A man came out of a building. He was a tall, skinny man, and he began walking ahead of me. He was wearing a tight blue sweater with (REEE REEE REEE) plaid elbow patches. I hate sweaters. I hate elbow patches. Combining the two and then forcing me to look at this hideous combination is like some kind of a sick joke.
I Should've . . . ran up to the man and screamed "Oh, my gosh! There's something on you! There's something on you!" I should've then ripped off each elbow patch, thrown them to the ground, and began stomping on them in a very dramatic, jumpy way. Afterwards, I should've sighed and said "Whew. That was close. You could've gotten nerd herpes."
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