I am a very thrifty person who is a sucker for deals. So, when Black Friday rolls around, I always find myself shivering in the cold late on Thanksgiving night as I await the midnight, 4:00 am, or 6:00 am store openings which promise UNBELIEVABLE DEALS!
This being my first Black Friday in the Boston area, I assumed/hoped that it would be outrageous--grandmothers cursing, people punching the aforementioned cursing grandmothers in their faces, children pickpockets, random barnyard animals roaming about, helicopter crashes, police in riot gear. Sadly, my expectations were not fulfilled. For the most part, the area where I was shopping was pretty dead, in comparison to normal shopping days, let alone the Black Fridays I've braved and conquered. Why was Boston's Black Friday so pathetic, you may ask? I'll tell you. Because most of the deals sucked.
There were, in fact, very few deals which I found impressive. And, unfortunately, most of the good deals were things I did not want, need for myself, or need to buy for anyone else. I became somewhat frustrated by this due to the fact that I had stayed up overnight and had stood in the cold for hours.
I should've . . . started grabbing up the "deal" items which weren't really deals and shook them angrily in the air, screaming "This is not a deal! What is this crap?!" and then threw the items on the ground and spit on them. After doing this to several "deal" items, I should have stormed out of the store while glaring and pointing at random employees, shouting "You! It's all your fault! Stop wasting my time!"
or I should've . . . taken a cart full of normally priced or "deal" items up to the register and then let them ring everything up, at which point I would act confused at the astronomical total and begin to review the prices while showing my utter disgust and declaring "What is wrong here? This is all so expensive! Is today Black Friday? I just don't understand! Why is everything to expensive?!" I would then try to haggle down the prices to what I believe were appropriate for Black Friday until I was escorted off the property.
or I should've . . . kept approaching random employees and saying "I'm sorry, but where are the deals? I don't see any here. I came for deals, but there doesn't seem to be any. Why would you lie like that? Why? Why? I'm so cold from standing outside all night. All night. I'm ever so cold. And there are no deals? Why would you lie to me like that? Why? Do you hate me? Why do you hate me?"
OMG, in IOWA the stores opened at MIDNIGHT and the lines were RIDICULOUS!!! Target was wrapped around the store and heading into the next store's parking lot. And at Shopko, my mom and I sat in the warm car and watched as people cutted from the sides. It was the best Thanksgiving night ever!
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