Chatroulette AKA Pervert and Jerk Central

My BFF and I had a conversation about Chatroulette with some of her friends yesterday. For those of you who don't know what that is, it is a web chatting service that pairs you up with random people all over the world. All you have to do is sign in (which doesn't even require actually signing into an account, which I thought was weird) and some random person comes up on your screen. If you don't want to talk to them for whatever reason, you simply hit "NEXT" and then another person comes up. Conversely, if the person on your screen doesn't want to talk to you, they are also free to hit "NEXT" and hope to be paired with someone better.
Anyway, My BFF's friends recently had their first go on Chatroulette and told us all about it. They had encounters with interesting people, but they also came across many shirtless men and even a few people who were wearing Halloween masks.

I thought this sounded amazing. I love running into strange people, but if I don't actually have to physically run into them and can "meet" these people via the Internet while they're many, many miles away without any knowledge of my whereabouts . . . well, it just can't get any more ideal than that.
So, I eagerly signed onto Chatroulette and was sorely disappointed. I got skipped and skipped and skipped and skipped. No one seemed to want to talk to me. Why? Probably because 95% of the chatters that came up on my screen were shirtless male teenagers who were lounging on beds or couches. It was disgusting. I had no idea this is what Chatroulette was all about.

We did not, however, give up very easily. We ended up speaking to a few people with much less scandalous intentions--some of which I will recap for you . . .
French Guy : wore a very strange hat with a white button up shirt. He had this horrible long, high pitched noise playing in the background that he said was a French hip-hop song. He asked me to "bring a noise". I used my BFF's Flarp to give him some farting noises and then hit "Next".

Norwegian girl : claimed she was studying to be a lawyer while also modeling clothing. She made fun of the United States and said that Norway was richer and had more and cheaper crude oil. I thought that was funny and asked her to share her oil with us. She laughed. Then she wanted me to say things in her language--"I have four tits and a stinky face" is only one example (thank you, Google Translate, for exposing her cruel intentions). After learning what she was making me say, I told her she was mean and that she should leave us poor, oil-needy Americans alone and then hit "Next".

Algerian man : only showed his left arm. He was smoking. Said he loved the United States but hated Obama. He called Obama a Jew. I told him Obama wasn't Jewish. He said that he knew that.

Turkish Guy : who looked like he was about to die. He said he had drank too much and wanted me to Facebook him. Uh, no thank you. I clicked "Next" and left him to die in peace.

Jar Jar Binks : was held up in front of the screen. The person holding him was making him dance around. I said "Jar Jar! Speak to me, Jar Jar!" and the person responded "You're funny" and then hit "Next". Jerk.

Overall, I feel like our Chatroulette experience was worth something. I met international weirdos! I heard French music that sounded like it was made by half-deaf dolphins! I even heard ignorant racial/religious slurs! What fun!