Chester

There is a very regular customer who comes into the pawn shop. And for reasons which can only be described as silly and immature, the pawn brokers have nicknamed this certain man "Chester". His actual name is not Chester, nor is it an alteration of his actual name (no worries, we remain completely confidential here at My Worthless Degree).

Anyway, Chester has come into the pawn shop three or four times a week for the past several months, and 99% of the time, he is selling a large quantity of DVDs which appear to be brand new. The cases are slick and shiny and the discs are scratchless. Another oddity which calls his honest into question is the fact that the titles he brings in often repeat themselves. He will bring in many of the same DVDs several days, or even weeks, in a row (one of the worst would be a Robert Pattinson movie called How To Be).

There are two stories about encounters with Chester that I would like to share, both of which involves his DVDs.

Story #1 :

After a number of months, I decided it would be entertaining to see how Chester would respond if he were to be put on the spot and asked where he got all of his DVDs. It seemed very obvious that he was stealing them from somewhere, but we can't go accusing people of theft. I know that it was over the line, prying into the origins of these DVDs, but I couldn't help it. Curiosity and cruelty got the better of me. So, one day, while I looking through the plethora of DVD cases he brought in (to make sure all of the DVDs where in them), I did my best to mask my question with innocence. And how did "Chester" respond?

          "Garage sales, man."
   Garage sales?
          "Yeah, you just go late in the afternoon and they're willing to give them to you dirt cheap because they just want to get rid of everything."
   Really?
          "Yeah. You gotta' go sometime. Garage sales. I'm telling you, man."

Did he really think that made any sense whatsoever? So, let me get this straight. The city where we live is overrun with incessant garage sales, all of which are selling DVDs which appear to be in new condition, many of which are selling the same titles? What a filthy liar. I asked him where these garages sales were and he answered that they were around and I just had to watch out for them.

When I told my fellow employees about this supposed source of Chester's DVDs, we all had a good laugh.

Story #2 :

Another day, Chester came into the pawn shop, and I decided to test him. I asked him when he was going to bring in Inception for me (it had just come out on DVD). Chester appeared to have been struck by lightening. His spine snapped straight and he shook his head and promised to look out for it for me at the garage sales.

My manager was not happy.

But, sure enough, not even a week later, Chester came in with a copy of Inception. The funny thing was that he tried to hand it off to one of my co-workers. Apparently, he had forgotten who had asked him for it. The funny thing about this is that I'm a pasty Caucasian and the employee Chester was trying to give the movie to was Thai. How he could confuse us, I will never know.

Conclusion :

Over the months, my curiosity over where Chester obtains his DVDs has grown into a mild obsession. I've fantasized about following Chester around for a day or two so I could see how and where he gets so many new DVDs. Was this his full-time "job"? What other shady habits did he have? Furthermore, how involved in this were his two sons?

Yes, Chester has two sons, and I imagine he often calls his children into the living room for a "family night" of removing the plastic wrapping and stickers from his hundreds of stolen DVDs so they will appear to have been used when he sells them. I imagine his children groaning in protest and then sluggishly jabbing dull steak knives through the wrapping. Do they know that their father is a clepto? How desensitized have they been by their father's endless theft?

If only I could give into my urges and follow him around, I could learn so much. It would be fascinating. And probably really sad.