15 December 2011

(#18) The "Die, Mother F-----s" I Should've

There are many people in the Boston area that ask for change.

Most people, including myself (I am ashamed to admit it, but I just don't carry cash), simply ignore these destitute individuals. For the most part, the beggars are very nice about being turned down by wishing everyone a good night or "God bless you." Tonight, however, I came across a man who did the exact opposite.

I was riding the T on my way home. A man was already sitting down and was holding a disposable cup. As soon as the doors shut and the train started moving, he loudly asked if anyone could spare a dollar or even some change.

No one gave him anything.

The man began to groan. Loudly. Streching the sound into one long, long moan of frustration.

Then, as the T stopped at the next station, he got up and proclaimed "Die, Mother F-----s! Just die! Die, Mother F-----s! Die!" in a sing-songy sort of way before jumping off the train. He continued to sing these horrible profanities as he left the station.

I should've . . . jumped to my feet and sang back to the man -- "And how, sir, should we die? A starving tiger or electrocution would be nice, but I prefer dysentery!" Of course, this would have been sung in a falsetto.

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