"It's pronounced 'ook-uh-lay-lee'."

There was on point when I was standing behind the counter and a woman approached. She was craning her neck at the various instruments we had hanging from the wall and I offered my assistance.

The woman accepted my offer of help and asked a general question about the "tiny guitars".

I understand that guitars come in various sizes, but this woman mistook our mandolin, violins, and ukuleles for miniature guitars. I was disgusted.

I explained what each was, and when I got to telling her that two of the "tiny guitars" were actually ukuleles she promptly corrected my pronunciation. "It's pronounced 'ook-uh-lay-lee'  not "you-kuh-lay-lee'" she said with obvious delight on her face for being able to provide such information.

I looked at the woman and wished I could have responded that she was an idiot and that I would continue to pronounce the name of the instrument the same way as I had been, not because I refused to believe her, but because I refused to trust the supposed wisdom of someone who was stupid enough to mistake mandolins, violins, and ukuleles for "tiny guitars", especially when they also try to correct someone of how to pronounce something when they have no idea what it looks like.

I probably wouldn't have been so angry at her if she hadn't been so snobby about it. But, as she was very obnoxious and outspoken about this thing she obviously had no knowledge of, I let the hatred in my face show.

After providing me with this pronunciation lesson, the woman pointed to one of the ukuleles and asked "does it sound like a guitar?"

I stared at her for a moment as shocked loathing consumed my body. She had no idea what a ukulele looked like and had no idea what it sounded like but she corrected me on how to pronounce it? How does something like that happen?

Once I had shaken myself out of my stupor, I told her that no, it did not sound like a guitar. She responded that it looked pretty much the same. I assured her that it sounded distinctly different. I also pointed out the drastic difference in size, the differing body shapes, and that ukuleles only had four strings instead of six. We continued to have a small discussion about the instruments and I tried my hardest to not say "ukulele" because I didn't want to say it her way but I didn't want to force her to correct my pronunciation again. If she would have, I would have been very rude, and I try ever so hard to be polite.

She accepted the obvious facts I provided and decided to buy one of the ukuleles.

When I returned home for the evening, I looked up the correct pronunciation of ukulele on the Internet, and I was very unhappy to discover that the woman was right. Native Hawaiians pronounce it as she had claimed--"ook-uh-lay-lee"--but this random tidbit of trivia she possessed does not remove the ridiculousness of her broader ignorance and unearned audacity. As for me, I will continue to pronounce ukulele incorrectly to spite this obnoxious woman. I hope she shudders every time I say "you-kuh-lay-lee" and she grows ever more suspicious that she has some kind of terminal illness.