DISCLAIMER : I hope no one takes any of these stories to be offensive. I find humor in all situations and believe everyone, myself included, should be able to laugh at him or herself.
Story, the first : The Little Person and The Large Mentally Handicapped Man
I didn't mean to, but I did a double take when I noticed the little person in the store today. It was like a reflex and it happened without me meaning to do it. I silently hoped the little person had not noticed and went about my business helping another customer. A few moments later, I heard someone shout "Don't you ever touch me again!" and turned my head just in time to see someone retreating from the little person. Of course, my first thought was "Did someone just try to pick that guy up?" The store was very full at the time and there were several douche bag looking guys in gym clothes and I instantly thought it had been one of them, but I was wrong. I later learned that a very tall and large mentally handicapped man, who is a regular customer, was the one who had tried to pick up the little person. I wonder if the little person realized he had shouted so meanly at someone who was handicapped and am not sure who I should feel more sorry for--the little person who has to put up with people trying to pick him up or the handicapped man who got yelled at for doing something he might not have realized was wrong. And even, though, I know I shouldn't, I kind of find the entire situation funny because 1) it's so ridiculous and 2) given the circumstances, and how both parties involved have their own crosses to bear, neither of them should be angry with the other.
Story, the second : KFC Encounters
The pawn shop I work at is located very close to a KFC and I decided to try the Double Down for lunch today. I made the short walk over there and entered the building to find the lobby floor spotted with clumps of white powder and an array of workers with unfortunate bodily features : the cashier had teeth that looked more like a walrus with advanced stages of gingivitis, the drive-through guy had one eye that looked inward towards his nose while the other floated around in whatever direction it wanted, and the fry cook had a cyst the size of a golf ball on his cheekbone. The cashier was not personable at all, but she did give me a free order of fries with my Double Down and for that I am thankful. The Double Down was pretty good. I'd never eaten anything so greasy in my life and tried to offset it with some fruit I'd brought from home. While I was eating, a co-worker of mine informed me that a lot of the KFC employees come over to our pawn shop to cash their payroll checks. A while back, one of these employees informed her that the store manager was worried they were going to get shut down because they had just failed their second consecutive health inspection. From what I saw, it doesn't look too likely they'll be passing their third if it's anytime soon.
Story, the third : A Child's Bare Feet Do Not Belong Anywhere Near Samurai Swords
To get to the back room where we process pawn loans, purchases, and other such transfering of goods from the store to customer or vice versa, you have to go behind the counter devoted to pawn purchases and through a set of swinging double doors. I was coming out of the back room, emerging behind the pawn counter, and looked to the left. To my surprise, there was a little boy, not more than two years old, sitting on the floor behind the counter. His feet were bare and he was resting them on the base of a three foot high stand that holds a dozen or so samurai swords. My first impulse was to pick up the boy because he 1) shouldn't be behind the counter, and 2) some of the swords were not sheathed. I, however, hesitated because an image of the boy being frightened and screaming and thrashing came into my mind and I didn't want any of that kind of trouble. Luckily, his mother came to the edge of the counter a second later and called out to her son, asking "Don't you want to come out here with me?" He gave his mother a dimissive look, turned back to the swords, and said "No." It was hilarious. His mother came behind the counter and pulled her son away from the swords. He went without a fight.
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