Justin Bieber's Angry Twin, Hairy Nostril Man, and The Completely Inappropriate Guy

Today brought some ridiculous customers into the pawn shop. I will tell you about three of them.

Ridiculous Customer #1 : Justin Bieber's Angry Twin

The description tells you everything you need to know about this customer. He must have been at least fifteen but looked like Justin Bieber in the way that it was painfully obvious that puberty had not hit him yet. The moment he walked through the doors he started cursing loudly and telling his two friends how much he hated the store because our prices were too high and we didn't pay him enough money when we bought something from him. I was dusting some DVD box sets and he even said "Yeah! You heard me!" in my direction to prove how tough he was. After roaming around the store for a few minutes, the three of them circled the DVD racks and started searching through them. They were talking about which movies they should get, American Pie, Final Destination, and then the thought came to me, "I don't think these kids aren't seventeen. Can I sell them R-rated movies?" The person I asked said he wasn't sure and said I probably shouldn't just to be safe. So when Justin and his two friends came over with Final Destination 3, I asked for ID. Justin suggested his taller friend buy it. I asked this taller friend if he was 17 and he just shrugged and said "I don't know." I asked him if he really didn't know how old he was, looked at his ID, found him to be 16, and then told them I couldn't sell them R-rated movies. They returned to the DVD rack and looked through them a little longer but ended up leaving without buying anything, Justin talking loudly about how much he hated the store. When the manager returned from his errands, I asked if we could sell R-rated movies to kids under seventeen. As it turns out, we can sell them to kids under seventeen and we have no official policy on the matter. Oh, well.

Ridiculous Customer #2 : Hairy Nostril Man

Unlike the first ridiculous customer of the day, this man had hit puberty and quite a few years ago. He approached me and informed me that he was looking for a lawn mower. At the time, we only had one available and it was locked up outside with the bikes. I accompanied him outside, showed him the price, and then watched him scowl. I admit that I even though it was overpriced, but I assured him that we could knock some money off of it and that I just had to ask my manager how much we could do. He debated if it was worth haggling over, during which time I noticed the long, thick hair that stiffly stuck out of his nostrils like dirty toothbrushes. I looked away, disgusted, but couldn't stop from stealing glance after glance. I have no idea how one lets their nose hair get that bad or what kind of monster his mother mated with to supply the genetics that allowed him to grow such revolting quantities of nose hair. It defied all natural laws and hygienic standards. He didn't buy the lawn mower even though he probably could've used it to tame those nose hairs.

Ridiculous Customer #3 : The Completely Inappropriate Guy

This man's tale actually beings yesterday when he came into the store with an Ipad in an orange case and tried to sell it. He could've done it, too, if he would've had ID. But as he didn't have ID at the time, the pawn counter employees had to refuse to purchase it. (It is a law that all people selling items must provide ID, this gives us a way of tracking them down if the item ends up being stolen.) Today, three teenagers came into the store and they had the same Ipad in the same orange protective case. The pawn employee recognized it and thought it was fishy that two people were claiming that the same thing was theirs to sell. She refused to buy the Ipad. Minutes later, the man from yesterday came in and started making a scene. He was furious that he couldn't get the Ipad sold. He tried to argue his way into making us buy it, but failed repeatedly, and then decided to start telling people not to shop at our store because he was going to open another pawn shop which would be much better and started handing out business cards to our customers. We asked him to stop. He then demanded to speak to the manager. The manager wasn't in the store at the time, but the man was so persistent that we ended up calling one of the owners and had him speak with him. After that, the man calmed down, but then he began to harass the female employee who had denied buying his Ipad, telling her how pretty she was and that he owed her a six pack of beer for causing so much trouble. He even went so far as to write down his phone number and address, give it to her, and then tell her to come over for a good time. He was asked to leave. He left the store but we discovered that he was hanging out in the parking lot with the teenagers that had also tried to sell the Ipad. Whenever the working manager went outside, the man would walk off the property but then come right back. This happened several times. Finally, the man left the property and didn't return.

What a day.