That's What You Get When You Don't Do Your Math

Today, a certain very large (both tall and wide) elderly man with a cane came into the store and was looking to sell several items. We were willing to buy his electric guitar and distortion pedals but had to decline taking the stun gun and police club off his hands. We have a policy of not buying or selling weapons (unsharpened samurai swords and decorative "weapons" are fine, but not the real stuff). The man kindly thanked us for our time and was very upfront about how he was going to go to a used musical instrument store to see if they could give him a better price. Well, they couldn't, and the man came back, at which point there was a police officer in the shop. This man approached the police officer and very excitedly told him "I have something I think you'll be interested in, sir." The officer was a little cranky and suspicious of these words and quickly brushed the man off, telling him they could talk later (he came into the shop to check for an item that had been reported stolen and didn't seem to appreciate the interruption). The elderly man retreated and began browsing around the store. A few minutes later, the police officer had finished his business and went outside. When the elderly man realized this, he yelled after the officer and hobbled as fast as his cane could carry him out the store, returning moments later with a very pleased expression on his face. Since he couldn't sell the stun gun or billy club, he had decided to donate it to the local police station. This must have made him feel very good about himself because he became very talkative. I imagine he was fantasizing about all the good his donated weapons would do in the hands of the stalwart local police force. While we rang up his transaction, he told us about how he'd never needed to use such weapons to protect himself or anyone else because he had been a black belt. He continued his story by declaring his hatred for "bullies and anyone who pushes around a woman or child", holding out his hands and then telling us all he had to do was squeeze a certain artery in the neck to make someone pass out if they became "too rowdy". The man's hands were very large, thick, and rough looking, and I believe that he could still choke the life out of someone even in his old age.

Another customer was also noteworthy today. The first time I saw her was during the sidewalk sale this past weekend. She came in with a telescope, looking to sell it, but left disappointed because we were not offering nearly as much money on it as she had hoped. While she was leaving, flustered, the telescope still in her hands, she paused to tell me she could never give up her telescope for such a low price and how she could get over four times the amount we offered that very moment if she had been in her home state of Tennessee. She was so flustered that I thought I'd never see her again. So, it was to my great surprise when she made a reappearance today, this time with a set of different items (2 DVD players, two tool sets, and a samurai sword). But not only did she come back, she was also very upbeat and talkative. She told us all about her love for movies and how she planned to frequent our shop so she could look through our DVDs. One of my co-workers must have been feeling a little rambunctious because he told her we would be willing to strike her a deal on DVDs, that we would sell her five DVDs for ten dollars. Unaware that this was the normal price for DVDs, the woman showered him with many thanks, at which point my co-worker smiled back at her and said we would even be willing to give her ten DVDs for twenty dollars. At this point, the woman's eyes grew very large, she gasped, and a hand even flew to her chest as if this was the best news she'd ever heard. She was totally clueless to the fact that he was not striking her a deal and that ten DVDS for twenty dollars is the same exact thing as two sets of five DVDS for ten dollars. It was kind of mean, sure, but that's what you get when you don't do your math.