Thank You, Horrid Cleavage Baby

The other day at work, I noticed a woman peering into the tall glass case where we display various gaming items (systems, accessories, games, etc). I approached her and asked if she would like to see anything closer. She did, and I unlocked the case.

As would be expected, we lock up things that are expensive and/or small enough to be easily slipped into pockets or purses. So, whenever we unlock any of the various display cases we have around the store, we remain by the customer's side while they peruse our merchandise to make sure they don't steal anything. Thus, I waited next to this woman while she looked through our stacks of Game Boy DS games, and it was one of the most horrible experiences of my life.

The woman was holding a baby, and despite it's inherent baby cuteness, it must have been a very devilish child because it kept pulling on it's mother's collar. What made this so horrible was the fact that the cut of the mother's shirt already displayed a generous amount of cleavage, and the baby's tugging exposed even more of her breasts. Combine that with the fact that I had a bird's eye view of everything, as I was a foot taller than the woman and standing right next to her, it shouldn't be too difficult to understand why I was feeling so uncomfortable. I kept thinking about misunderstandings and accusations and lawsuits and what a vile child that baby was for making me so paranoid.

I tried to keep my eyes fixed on the Xbox 360s on display (I'd never been more thankful that they don't have cleavage), but she kept asking me questions about the games and I had to keep looking over to see what she was referring to and subjecting my eyes to her cleavage.

It was horrible! The woman's right breast was almost being tugged out of her shirt and she didn't even notice! She just kept rummaging through the DS cartridges. And what was I supposed to do? "Uh-hem, ma'am. Your baby! Your boob! For heaven's sake, do something!" Right. I swear, if that baby had pulled that neckline just an inch lower . . .

Eventually, the woman settled upon two DS games and I was able to lock the case and retreat into a less cleavage-ridden area of the pawn shop. I hope that horrid cleavage baby is happy.