The Issue

I am afraid I may need to stop eating so much ice-cream.

For the past two and a half weeks since I have been working in the ice-cream plant, I have been eating nothing but ice-cream and ice-cream treats for lunch and on my breaks.

Today, I went about my lunch as usual. I dished myself a large serving of ice-cream, finished that off, then ate a toffee ice-cream bar. It wasn't too long after returning to work that I began to experience some stomach pain. I won't go into detail, but I took care of business and continued working. It wasn't until after my last break of the day (during which I ate a second unhealthy amount of ice-cream along with a second toffee ice-cream bar), when I experienced additional stomach pain that I began to see the pattern. The very disappointing pattern.

I was somewhat expecting this, or something like this, to happen. I mean, it is not a good idea to daily gorge on ice-cream. I recognize that. But I was just hoping this issue wouldn't arise so soon.

I suppose the smart thing to do would be to only eat ice-cream as dessert rather than as appetizers and the main course. Lame.

Daily Ice-Cream Intake
1/2 Gallon - Cookie Dough ice-cream, 2 toffee ice-cream bars

(see also The Summer of Free Ice-Cream (A Running Tally))

The Saddest Thing

Producing a safe product is one of the highest priorities at the ice-cream factory where I work. But in order to do this, there seems to be a lot of waste as a result.

As you should already be aware, I am in the sanitation department. This means that I clean the ice-cream mixers and machines. Of course, the cleaning process is done with chemicals. And eve though we completely rinse away all of the chemicals we use, we take extra precautions to make sure that no residue makes it into our ice-cream product. We, 1) have an inspector inspect the equipment we have just cleaned to make sure we have cleaned it properly, and 2) we throw away the entire first batch of ice-cream after a machine has been cleaned, thus guaranteeing that any residue is long gone if it had, by some freak accident, been missed.

This first run of ice-cream is simply thrown into big waste baskets and then disposed of. The disposal, however, is not always done in the most timely of manners. A lot of the time, several of these large trash cans are collected in a certain area where they wait to be taken care of.

I pass this area often and can't help but look at all of that wasted ice-cream and/or ice-cream treats. It's heart-breaking. One day, there was a large number of barrels waiting to be thrown out. I took a moment to count them and there were twenty-three! Can you imagine all of that ice-cream, just melting into worthless puddles of formerly delicious goo? It's a travesty.

Now, I hate wasting food, but I especially hate wasting ice-cream. Sometimes, when I see the ice-cream waiting to be thrown out, I have these . . . urges. They vary, the urges, but they tend to play along the lines of thrusting my arms shoulder-deep into the melting ice-cream and then raising my gooey hands over my head and screaming "YOU SHOULD HAVE TAKEN ME!" into the heavens. With equal frequency, these urges prod me to begin frantically grabbing handful after handful of ice-cream and shoving as much of it as I can into my mouth before I am pulled me away and forcibly restrained, possibly sedated. Or, if I am feeling noble, I could sneak the barrels out a side door and then dispense the ice-cream to orphans, potentially red-headed ones that frequently sing about the sun coming out tomorrow. What fun executing any of those scenarios would be. If only.

Daily Ice-Cream Intake:
2/5 gallon Rocky Road ice-cream, 1 orange sherbet square, 3 fudge bars, 1/8 gallon of neapolitan ice-cream

(see also The Summer of Free Ice-Cream (A Running Tally))

Co-Worker Freak Show

Over the past two weeks while working at the ice-cream factory, I've been struck by a few of my co-workers. But when I say "struck", I don't mean I couldn't help thinking "Wow, this person is interesting or smart or fun to be around." Rather, I mean "struck" in the "Wow, this person looks like . . ." To be honest, it's kind of like a side show. Is that wrong for me to say? Well, of course it is, but I have to entertain myself--and you--somehow, right? So, here we go. Step right on up to the Co-Worker Freak Show!


Flipper-saurus Rex : I feel somewhat horrible about writing this guy, but I just have to share it. One of my co-workers has a physical deformity where his forearms are abnormally short and his wrists seem to be too long and have a couple extra joints. The other day, I heard someone refer to his arms as "flippers", and I can see that, but I think the shortness of his arms makes him look more like a T-rex. But then it hit me! He is not one or the other. He is the love child of both --the offspring of a dolphin and a T-rex, making him the Flipper-saurus Rex.

The Gentleman : There is a very tall, older gentleman who looks like a less pale version of a monster off of the TV show, Buffy, The Vampire Slayer. It's actually a group of monsters, called The Gentlemen, who all look the same and have one purpose. In the show, these guys sweep into Buffy's home town and steal everyone's voices so no one can scream for help when they break into their homes with the intention of cutting out and stealing their hearts for their demonic purposes. I don't think my co-worker is motivated to or capable of stealing voices and tearing out beating hearts from human chests, but I can't help but be creeped out by him, especially when he smiles.

Mario : All I need to say about this guy is that he looks exactly like Mario, only he's hispanic instead of Italian. Sadly, he has to wear the necessary safety equipment and not the suit pictured on the left because neither he nor the ice-cream factory is that awesome.

The Tape Worm : There is one guy who is insanely tall and insanely thin that he looks like a large worm who has learned to walk in an upright position . . . and wear human clothing . . . and work at an ice-cream factory. I haven't bothered talking to him, but I have since started referring to him as The Tape Worm. Even his face is bland, kind of like what I imagine what a worm's face would look like.





And I musn't forget to mention El Cholo. I won't go into great detail about him here as I've already blogged about him, but, if you haven't read about this jerk, I would check out El Cholo immediately.


Daily Ice-Cream Intake :
2 strawberry crunch bars, 2 fudgesicles, 1 frozen yogurt square, 5 ice-cream candy bars, 1 orange sherbert push-up

(see also The Summer of Free Ice-Cream (A Running Tally))