From time to time the store manager enjoys bringing in large quantities of objects with strange themes. The current theme is : Glitter Dragons and Sexy (Sometimes Lesbian) Fairies.
The pawn shop now has a table designated for small statues of dragons that are covered in glitter--what a mess, let me tell you--as well as statues of fairies that are neither cute nor cartoonish but sexual temptresses that seem eager to show off their taut upper thighs and expansive cleavage.There are also moderately sized framed pictures of additional sensual dark fairies. One is standing on the edge of a cliff that overlooks a stormy ocean. She is very pale and dressed entirely in black, only the back of her dress has been cut away to reveal her firm buttocks, giving a strong impression that she had just stepped off the set of a Lady Gaga music video. And as strange as it was, I kind of liked it--but not as much as I enjoyed teasing my boss, who has a very innocent demeanor about her, about the questionable merchandise she brought into the shop. There was another picture that was especially productive in my teasing. This was a medium close-up of two kissing fairies--both clearly female--one laying on the ground and the other leaning over her lover. But to bring this picture into complete focus, it must also be understood that there was blood tricking from the mouth of the fairie who was laying on the ground, leaving me to wonder if she was dead, injured, or being devoured by the other fairie. I perhaps will never be given the correct answer, but perhaps that is the true beauty behind this humbly priced piece of wall art--not the kinky, Gothic lesbianism, but the allure of an unsolvable mystery.
Moving on, I brought this intriguing picture to the attention of my boss, and melodramatically demanded, "You bought LESBIAN FAIRIES?" She laughed, pointed to the bleeding fairie laying on the ground, and then responded that "This one could be a guy". Oh, no, dear boss, it could not. It most certainly could not. But that's okay. I don't judge. But I did make sure to bring the lesbian fairies to the attention of each of my co-workers. At one point, one co-worker laughed and said our boss had told him that she had bought the S&M fairies because they were similar to the stuff in the Twilight movies. I responded that if that's what Twilight was about that I needed to start watching those movies because I had been grossly misinformed about their content.
28 September 2010
22 September 2010
Drug Scales, Scandalous Pictures, Autographs, and Chainsaws
I have a soft spot in my heart for people who have reformed their lives. Not only do I believe they deserve a certain degree of respect for having the willpower to change their attitudes, alter their habits, and conquer their addictions, but there is something in me that makes me melt when a friendly person tells me about their former self without any inhibition whatsoever. For example, a woman came up to the pawn counter today and wanted to take a loan out on a digital camera she had. I took a look at the camera, offered her a price, and then she said she was also curious to see how much she could get for a small digital scale which she pulled from her purse and handed to me.
Without any shame, she happily told me that she had found the scale in her storage unit and that she had originally gotten it in the 1980s to use for selling cocaine. Even though there was no white residue on the scale itself, I had a strong desire to pull my hand back. Instead, I smiled and said "Oh, wow." She nodded and then told me how she had also found a picture of her smoking marijuana from a large bong, but that she didn't remember ever doing any other drugs than cocaine--but that she must have because that's what she was doing in the picture she'd found. Somehow my uncomfortable laugh urged her onward to tell me how she had also discovered an autographed picture of the actress Rita Hayworth in her storage unit along with other personal belongings that were "very interesting" (more drug paraphernalia, perhaps). At this point, she pulled an envelope of some sort from her purse and clutched it to her chest. She asked me if I thought such a picture would be worth much. I offered a distracted shrug and tried to continue finishing her transaction.
After completing her loan, the woman kindly thanked me and said she was going to look around the store for a little bit. That was fine with me. But when she said she was interested in putting a John Deere chainsaw on lay-a-way, I almost laughed aloud. Drug scales, scandalous pictures, autographs, and chainsaws . . . what an encounter. But through it all, there was a part of me that thought she was a cute woman. It's a little strange to find the awkwardness of her unrestricted disbursement of her former drug habits to be endearing, but I do.
Without any shame, she happily told me that she had found the scale in her storage unit and that she had originally gotten it in the 1980s to use for selling cocaine. Even though there was no white residue on the scale itself, I had a strong desire to pull my hand back. Instead, I smiled and said "Oh, wow." She nodded and then told me how she had also found a picture of her smoking marijuana from a large bong, but that she didn't remember ever doing any other drugs than cocaine--but that she must have because that's what she was doing in the picture she'd found. Somehow my uncomfortable laugh urged her onward to tell me how she had also discovered an autographed picture of the actress Rita Hayworth in her storage unit along with other personal belongings that were "very interesting" (more drug paraphernalia, perhaps). At this point, she pulled an envelope of some sort from her purse and clutched it to her chest. She asked me if I thought such a picture would be worth much. I offered a distracted shrug and tried to continue finishing her transaction.
After completing her loan, the woman kindly thanked me and said she was going to look around the store for a little bit. That was fine with me. But when she said she was interested in putting a John Deere chainsaw on lay-a-way, I almost laughed aloud. Drug scales, scandalous pictures, autographs, and chainsaws . . . what an encounter. But through it all, there was a part of me that thought she was a cute woman. It's a little strange to find the awkwardness of her unrestricted disbursement of her former drug habits to be endearing, but I do.
16 September 2010
Porn, Confessions, and Nervous Mothers
The pawn shop I work for takes in computers and laptops for their pawn loans, but only if the system meets several requirements. To offer the customer a price, there has to be a product key (so we can restore their computer to factory settings in case they never pay on their computer and we claim it after it becomes too far overdue), a moderately sized RAM and hard drive, and a processor that is somewhat up-to-date with current standards. In other words, the newer a computer is, the more we can offer them on the loan. Well, a woman came into the shop today and was looking for a loan on her laptop. I went into it to find the information I needed to price it and realized there was a disc in her disc drive. I asked if she wanted the disc taken out. She did. And to our great surprise, both mine and the customer's, when I opened the drive and took the disc out, it was a porno! The picture on the top of the DVD showed a woman sticking her naked butt in the air in the direction of another lustful looking woman. The customer gasped and quickly grabbed the DVD out of my hand and away from any eyes that might glance in that direction, apologized, and then rushed out of the store with the DVD. She returned moments later and assured me that her boyfriend was in big trouble.
In order to buy things with the generous employee discount that my pawn shop offers, one is required to have worked at least thirty days and have passed their first review after those initial thirty days. As it has been over a month and a half since I commenced my employment, I asked my boss when I would be having my review so I could start buying things. She said that I could go ahead without the review because the management was very behind on giving reviews and that it would probably be a few weeks before they would get to me. Having hoped for this response, I was very happy and mindlessly blurted out how I had been setting aside certain DVDs that I'd wanted to buy, calling it my "stash". My boss's mouth slumped into a frown and she told me that I should not have been doing that. I quickly apologized, inwardly scolding myself for speaking so thoughtlessly. She said it was okay but that I shouldn't do that any more, that if I wanted to buy anything that I needed to either put in on lay-a-way or purchase it immediately. I feel kind of guilty and somewhat embarrassed, but I don't think it'll stop me from dropping a hundred dollars on DVDs sometime next week. I have a very nice copy of Jumanji hidden away and can't wait to bust that one out.
A mother and her daughter came into the shop today with an RF modulator, a small DVD player, and a TV/DVD combo that was princess themed, complete with a wand-shaped remote and tiara that hooked into the top of the pink TV. The prices she was given for her belongings were not what was had been expecting and she told me she needed to step away from the counter for a moment to make a phone call. I told her that would be alright, thinking she needed to call someone to see if they still wanted to go ahead and sell their items at our prices. The woman and her daughter, however, didn't reappear for a half hour, and when they did, the mother was carrying a laptop computer. She asked me to appraise the laptop, I did, and it was still not sufficient, but she eventually took the offer on our loan price and used the money to purchase a pink violin for her 9-year-old daughter. The daughter was hilarious. She was very excited to be getting the violin and showed her mother how to measure the violin using her arm to make sure it was the right size for her. She also showed her mother the correct way to carry the violin and then proceeded to show her mother the wrong way, swinging it around by the neck and nearly dropping it herself. I'd never seen a mother so nervous in my life. She had her daughter set the violin down and then repeatedly told her she would need to be careful with it. She didn't seem to trust her daughter at all, and with the few moments of high energy that I witnessed, I think I know why. The violin comes with a 30 day money back guarantee, but I honestly don't know if it will stay in one piece that long.
In order to buy things with the generous employee discount that my pawn shop offers, one is required to have worked at least thirty days and have passed their first review after those initial thirty days. As it has been over a month and a half since I commenced my employment, I asked my boss when I would be having my review so I could start buying things. She said that I could go ahead without the review because the management was very behind on giving reviews and that it would probably be a few weeks before they would get to me. Having hoped for this response, I was very happy and mindlessly blurted out how I had been setting aside certain DVDs that I'd wanted to buy, calling it my "stash". My boss's mouth slumped into a frown and she told me that I should not have been doing that. I quickly apologized, inwardly scolding myself for speaking so thoughtlessly. She said it was okay but that I shouldn't do that any more, that if I wanted to buy anything that I needed to either put in on lay-a-way or purchase it immediately. I feel kind of guilty and somewhat embarrassed, but I don't think it'll stop me from dropping a hundred dollars on DVDs sometime next week. I have a very nice copy of Jumanji hidden away and can't wait to bust that one out.
A mother and her daughter came into the shop today with an RF modulator, a small DVD player, and a TV/DVD combo that was princess themed, complete with a wand-shaped remote and tiara that hooked into the top of the pink TV. The prices she was given for her belongings were not what was had been expecting and she told me she needed to step away from the counter for a moment to make a phone call. I told her that would be alright, thinking she needed to call someone to see if they still wanted to go ahead and sell their items at our prices. The woman and her daughter, however, didn't reappear for a half hour, and when they did, the mother was carrying a laptop computer. She asked me to appraise the laptop, I did, and it was still not sufficient, but she eventually took the offer on our loan price and used the money to purchase a pink violin for her 9-year-old daughter. The daughter was hilarious. She was very excited to be getting the violin and showed her mother how to measure the violin using her arm to make sure it was the right size for her. She also showed her mother the correct way to carry the violin and then proceeded to show her mother the wrong way, swinging it around by the neck and nearly dropping it herself. I'd never seen a mother so nervous in my life. She had her daughter set the violin down and then repeatedly told her she would need to be careful with it. She didn't seem to trust her daughter at all, and with the few moments of high energy that I witnessed, I think I know why. The violin comes with a 30 day money back guarantee, but I honestly don't know if it will stay in one piece that long.
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